Today… momentum

I am shaking like a leaf… I don’t know if that’s good or bad. Since my last post I’ve worked very sporadically on my book. If I had to guess, I’d say I was chickenshit about getting more rejections, so I’ve worked but without direction, without deadlines, without goals.
I’m back. I started another round of edits a month ago and have been working steadily if sporadically on them. I found a big problem in the book that had to do with its timeline, so I’m going through and finding those flow errors.
But above and beyond any mechanical activity I can do, I suddenly have momentum again. Motivation. I talked with a professional consultant who works with people to bridge the gap from writing a book to getting it published. (Thanks, Christine Simpson Sachs, for the introduction!)
In my real life, the one where I can’t fall asleep, or smoke too much, or watch TV instead of tackling the list of things I’ve set for myself, I have had motivation issues. There are any number of encumbrances that serve as perfect pretexts to avoid bookwork: I am, genuinely, busy at work. Ramon is here from Spain. Elena made a fish dinner. I’m traveling for field data collection. WhatEVer.
I won’t say that I won’t be watching TV tonight, with Ramon, eating fish, and not working on my book. But I will say I am FIRED UP about the path I’m on again, the one that leads to finishing this book with a flourish. Fame, fortune, movie options. Maybe it’s unrealistic to think I can get my book in front of the eyes of a Big Six Publisher or, even more remote, a Hollywood producer that wants a fresh idea for a series. BUT TO HELL WITH REALISTIC. If all it gets me is small, local dreams, what good is realism? I swear, I feel the same feeling right now that I feel being in love. Except I’m in love with me, with my book, with Nathalie (the main character), with the dreams I have about being a real author who makes people laugh and turn pages like there’s no tomorrow.
So realism can eat my shorts.

One reply on “Today… momentum”

  1. Lauren Culver on

    Cheers for the Simpson reference. I believe in you! Knock’em dead!

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